“Eight weeks ago, I really didn’t know how to cope with the pain of losing Antiguo. I wasn’t sure how to go on in the face of such crippling, unimaginable pain. I still don’t know. The fact of the matter is, you don’t cope with the pain. You learn to live with it, which is a subtle, but important, difference. The pain, when it hits, is as bad as it ever was. It isn’t any better. It doesn’t make any more sense. I know this. I allow for it….Time does not heal pain. Time merely gives you the room to get used to it.”
I wrote the above 8 weeks after he died. Today is 8 years, and I had no idea how right I was then. Another thing I didn’t know was that my life would be good again. It is. It really is. But gawd, how I miss him.