Posted in Commentary, Growing up/old, Long-Time Married Theatre

Long-Time Married Theatre presents: Why My Husband Divorced Me So Close to Our Anniversary

May 17, 2012, Dinnertime at the Cunningham household. The lady of the house has grilled steaks, made salad, and baked garlic fries. We find the couple halfway through their meal.  The couple is 5 days short of their 18th wedding anniversary; they’ve been together 21.5 years.  Which explains a lot.

SCOTT

I wonder…if you added the garlic stuff about halfway through the cooking time and baked them some more, would that be better?…they get kind of mushy when you stir it in after…

KRISTIE

Oh really?

(chews a very crispy garlic fry with her mouth open so that the unmistakable
crunch of a non-mushy fry can be heard clearly across the table)

 SCOTT
(looks at her silently as she continues to crunch loudly; he is annoyed)

KRISTIE
(still crunching, loudly and slow-clap style, as half a smirk plays at the corner of her mouth)

SCOTT

Shut up.

KRISTIE

MOOOOOM! She’s chewing sarcastically at me!

SCOTT

That’s right!

KRISTIE
(still crunching loudly, and giggling quietly to herself)

I guess now I have another blog post for 3 weeks from now.

SCOTT

Will the title be “Why My Husband Divorced Me So Near Our Anniversary”?

KRISTIE
(laughs outright)

You bet.

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Author:

I've been doing some form of creative writing since 9th grade, and have been a blogger since 2003. Like most bloggers, I've quit blogging multiple times. But the words always come back, asking to be written down, and they pester me if I don't. So here we are. Thanks for reading.

11 thoughts on “Long-Time Married Theatre presents: Why My Husband Divorced Me So Close to Our Anniversary

  1. Sarcasm? So no-one else sees our hero as a girly princess at home dreaming of ribbons in her hair and her pony, Snowball?

    You’re going to have to tell these people one day dear.

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