Posted in Commentary, Desert Life

Christmas is not a competition, but he’s winning

Two days after I completed my Christmas shopping with fanfare no grander than a mention on Facebook, my beloved announced triumphantly at top volume from the other room that HE had finished his Christmas shopping, and not only that, but he was the best Christmas-giftmeister since Melchior.

And that was fine, because he’s a man, and men I’m married to (and others, I’ve heard tell,) historically seem to need acknowledgment of their little accomplishments, regardless of their auditor’s own accomplishments in the same arena:

“Honey, I got the junk drawer straightened out!”

“Great, honey…I got the other 8 rooms of the house cleaned and bathed the dogs.”

Crickets commence chirping.


Because I know this, and because I really do love him, I limited myself to only a subtly snarky “That’s great!  I finished 2 days ago.”

And that could’ve been the end of it.  It could’ve been the end of it if we were some other couple, but alas, we are us, and there is no end to it.  Which is why at least thrice daily since the big announcement, I have been told how much I am going to love my Christmas present; that I will be stunned by joy upon opening it; and that it is the most awesome and perfect-for-me present that ever was AND (for the first time ever) came in under the price limit that, in the past, we both agreed to and he only acknowledged with a nod as he spent right past it.

Which is good news for me, if it’s true, no?

But I did say to Captain Enthusiasm, “You’re putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself with this campaign of gifty greatness, aren’t you?  What if it doesn’t live up to the hype?”

“Then I’ll just be totally devastated.”

Oh.  Okay.  No pressure.


Happy solstice and Merry Christmas, my friends.  Hope your holidays sparkle.  You gonna open your presents Christmas eve or Christmas day?



I've been doing some form of creative writing since 9th grade, and have been a blogger since 2003. Like most bloggers, I've quit blogging multiple times. But the words always come back, asking to be written down, and they pester me if I don't. So here we are. Thanks for reading.

6 thoughts on “Christmas is not a competition, but he’s winning

  1. Honey, I got the junk drawer straightened out!”

    “Great, honey…I got the other 8 rooms of the house cleaned and bathed the dogs.”

    Crickets commence chirping.

    Every marriage has most likely been filled with conversations like this:)

    Happy Christmas, my friend. I’m about to pop your mix in to help me though the last 1.5 hrs of work of 2011. I think it’ll get the job done nicely.

    And we open Christmas day, but we only get a gift from the little one. We now just give each other money for the holidays. Sad but at least now we always get what we want! For me, that would be some new ink. Woo hoo.

    1. Whatcha getting, ink-wise? I’m going to be getting some new ink in the new year, too. I need to get this summer’s tattoo touched up (finally!) and talk to my artist about expanding it a bit.

      1. I’m finishing my left arm. More polynesian tribal, this one with a lotus in there somewhere. I’ve given my artist a few printouts, but he ultimately designs it. I’m psyched! I have an appointment for Friday afternoon. Then I’ll have 2 full sleeves! If you had asked me 10 years ago if that was possible, I would have emphatically said no.

      2. Cool! Can’t wait to see it. I know what you mean…when I got my hummingbird, people said “Is that your first tattoo?” And I would answer, “it’s my ONLY tattoo.” Turned out not to be the case. 🙂

  2. I literally laughed out loud at the junk drawer conversation. So very true!

    A very happy holiday to you, too, Kristie.

    Since we have both sets of grandparents in town, we open some on Christmas eve, and more on Christmas day, then additional ones throughout the following week from our friends and family who live elsewhere. Too much, in my opinion, but it’s primarily for the kiddos.

    1. We do Christmas day now, though when I was a kid, it was family presents Xmas eve, and Santa on Xmas morning. Now the hubby and I dispense with the Santa pretense (though I still sign at least one of the gifts from the dogs), and we just do it all Christmas morning.

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