Posted in Growing up/old

“It takes a long time to grow young.”–Pablo Picasso

This kid right here?  She’s 40 today.
Holy shit!
Kindergarten school picture, 1977

I never imagined being 40, so I can’t really say that being 40 surprises me (seems rather inevitable if you manage to keep breathing, and I’ve been expecting it since my last birthday), or fails to meet my expectations in any way.  It just seems like such a substantial, grown-up number.  Am I substantial and grown-up?  As much as anyone is, I suppose; I long ago realized that the whole concept of an adulthood where you finally get beyond compromise and have all the answers you need is largely myth.  Once I accepted that, I could roll with the days I felt a weary 800 years old, and revel in the moments where I felt 8, like recently when I was toasting mini marshmallows on toothpicks with a fireplace lighter just because I had the means, motive, and opportunity. (If setting them on fire and letting them burn until they turn black can be called “toasting.”  What?  I like them that way!)   We are all the people we have ever been; the past didn’t go anywhere.  And, oddly enough, in many ways, with each passing year, I’m younger and freer than I ever dreamed of being as a teenager.

When I look back on what can statistically be assumed to be half my life, I have to say, I’ve gotten everything I ever wanted, some things I didn’t know I wanted until I had them, and a few things I never wanted and would just as soon give back if I had my druthers.  And I wonder what the future will bring.  It seems impossible to believe it could be as full and as challenging as the first 40 years, but I can only assume it must be.  How could life be anything but what it is?  That both intrigues and scares me, I confess.  I’m tired already.

As it is, I am starting out my birthday celebrating by beginning the day with a gig.  The Shameless Flirts are playing bright and early at 10 a.m. at a craft show, and as I play guitar and sing in the chilly November morning instead of sweltering in my always-too-hot cubicle, I will feel like a rock star, despite the very un-rock star time and venue.  And I will end the day with chocolate cake.

Doesn’t get much better than that.

About 6 years ago, a bunch of us bloggers–Shenry and Alicia for sure (Alicia started us all on the project, as I recall), we did a life soundtrack, one song per year of your life, and the song had to come out that year.  I don’t know about everyone else, but each year, I’ve added another one, and kept the list up-to-date.  If you never got the original mix, or are interested in the updates, you can get the works here.  The playlist itself is after the jump, if you’d like to know what’s on it.

1.  Beginnings Chicago
2.  Hello It’s Me Todd Rundgren
3.  Cat’s In the Cradle Harry Chapin
4.  Rikki Don’t Lose that Number Steely Dan
5.  50 Ways to Leave Your Lover Paul Simon
6.  Band On The Run Paul McCartney
7.  Telephone Line Electric Light Orchestra
8.  Summer Nights John Travolta / Olivia Newton-John
9.  My Sharona The Knack
10. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic The Police
11. Steppin’ Out Joe Jackson
12. The Reflex Duran Duran
13. When Doves Cry Prince
14. I Feel for You Chaka Khan
15. Rock Me Amadeus Falco
16. I Want Your Sex, Pt. 1 & 2 George Michael
17. Wishing Well Terence Trent D’Arby
18. Something About You Level 42
19. Seeing Things The Black Crowes
20. Praying for Time George Michael
21. If I Ever Fall In Love Shai
22. Everybody Hurts R.E.M.
23. Queen of the Night Whitney Houston
24. Roll to Me Del Amitri
25. Who Will Save Your Soul Jewel
26. Song For The Dumped Ben Folds Five
27. The Way Fastball
28. Smooth Rob Thomas / Santana
29. Crutch Matchbox Twenty
30. Drops of Jupiter Train
31. No Such Thing John Mayer
32. The Remedy (I Won’t Worry) Jason Mraz
33. All That We Let In Indigo Girls
34. You’ll Have Time William Shatner
35. Stop This Train John Mayer
36. Innan Du Gar Theresa Andersson
37. Her Diamonds Rob Thomas
38. Just Breathe Pearl Jam
39. All You Need Is Now Duran Duran
40. After Night Came Sun Ryanhood


I've been doing some form of creative writing since 9th grade, and have been a blogger since 2003. Like most bloggers, I've quit blogging multiple times. But the words always come back, asking to be written down, and they pester me if I don't. So here we are. Thanks for reading.

8 thoughts on ““It takes a long time to grow young.”–Pablo Picasso

  1. happy birthday, my dear friend!

    talked to shenry the other day. he said the swap is on and that he’d post it in a few days. but i love the idea of the one song for each year. ima have to put my own mix together for that one.

  2. I still have your CD too! And I keep adding to mine as well. Good times, good times.

    Here’s to the glorious first 40 years of your life, Kristie. I concur with you on all points hit here about growing (older? younger? wiser? un-wiser [is that a word]? all of the above?).

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