It should be noted for the record that I am up at 12:10 a.m. on Wednesday night writing this, despite having actually gone to bed at 11:09 a.m. after taking not only 2 Benadryl but also 2 Tylenol PMs, only to discover that I was, in fact, wide awake. I want to sleep. I like sleep. I am not sleeping. WHY?
Why does Newt Gingrich think he’s still relevant? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
I was downloading the pictures from my camera tonight (last night, now, I guess) and I found this one I took awhile back.
Why did I take a picture of cheese? It’s a fair question, and I’m glad you asked. I took a picture of cheese because of what it had on the back of it:
In bold print, no less, it tells me that the content of this package CONTAINS MILK. You’d think a person could’ve figured that out from the ingredients list, where it says “Part-skim milk.” Or maybe perhaps from the fact that it’s FUCKING CHEESE! Are ya KIDDING me with this???
Speaking of cheese, allow me to share a recent craft project with you. This is my new mailbox:
This mailbox originally belonged to my friends Beth and Pam. It came with their house when they bought it, and they immediately determined that it was far too cheesy to continue to exist on their property. I, however, adored their mailbox, and they saw fit to give it to me. I repainted it, because it was worse for wear after suffering who-knows-how-many years under the Arizona sun. I think it’s lovely, and as I was installing it, my male neighbors came over to observe the proceedings and comment on my efforts to beautify the neighborhood. My mailbox brings all the boys to the yard.
Or maybe it was the tank top.
In any case, now I need to have my entire house repainted at some point because my mailbox clashes. If you look very carefully, you may notice that the the trim on my house, and everywhere that isn’t that mud brown brick, is pink, much like my kitchen.
It is now 12:33 a.m. and I find I am hungry. I can’t sleep when I’m hungry. (Not that I was sleeping anyway.) I’m off for snack, and then bedtime, take 2.
So I did fall asleep the second time last night, having decided to skip the snack because I didn’t feel like removing my bite guard and subsequently brushing my teeth again. (It’s sharing these kind of intimate details that make us feel so close; I know you appreciate it as much as I do.) But I knew this post wasn’t finished. The finale was yet to occur, but occur it did as Scott and I drove back to work after lunch today (Thursday.)
In front of us pulled this:
Huge 1970-something banana-colored pimp car?
Magnetic sign on the trunk advertising marriages and weddings (which are different things, evidently–who knew?) “Day or night, any area”?
Jesus bumper sticker?
LIVE CAT ROAMING AROUND IN THE BACK WINDOW?
Catching the red light so that I had time to take the picture?
Nothing less than a gift from the universe.
May the universe gift you with such delights, and adequate sleep at your desired hours, today and always.